April Fool's: Skyship Admiral Takes Game Desiger Hostage!

April Fools: BREAKING NEWS: Famous Admiral Appears in Washington, Takes Game Designer Hostage RENTON, Washington — A naval officer who was declared dead when his legendary vessel crashed exactly seven years ago today made a sudden and unexpected reappearance in Renton, WA. Witnesses reported a series of strange flashing lights culminating in a group of people in strange clothing appearing in the middle of a car park.

Art by Terry Dykstra, Colorized by Havard

 “It was like they teleported in from some alternate dimension or something, man!” remarked a bystander named Chris. The group made their way to local gaming company, Wizards of the Coast, where they walked into the building and began making demands. The leader, apparently the captain of a “sky-ship”, demanded to see the lead designer of famous role playing game DUNGEONS & DRAGONS (R). “In the name of her Imperial Majesty, I insist that you bring this Mr. Mearls to me this instant!” he was heard to say, brandishing a strange stick in one hand in a strangely hypnotic manner, the feather in his outlandish hat waving about his head. To the shock of everyone present, the receptionist proceeded to summon Mr. Mearls, who appeared in short order wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with the slogan, “Unearthed Arcana: The Truth is Out There!”

 From there, the situation escalated quickly. The interloper’s leader announced that he was “an admiral of Her Imperial Fleet”, and began to accuse Mr. Mearls of collaborating in the destruction and looting of his “sky-ship”. “It was your company’s employee, a Mr. Robert J. Schwalb, who reported that my ship was crashed — my crew dead! — was it not?!” When Mr. Mearls informed him that Mr. Schalb no longer worked for the company, and was not there, the group became agitated. A large-looking man wearing a tiger-like mask (which looked amazingly real) stepped forward and grabbed poor Mr. Mearls, and amid shouts of “The Princess will have vengeance!” the whole group disappeared in a cloud of coloured smoke. The current whereabouts of these people and the unfortunate Mr. Mearls is unknown. Police have interviewed witnesses, but many find the whole situation to be inherently unbelievable.

 In other news, scientists today discovered hitherto unknown tunnels leading deep into the interior of the Earth. "We never would have believed these tunnels could go this deep!" the lead scientist told reporters. "Ordinarily the conditions beneath the ground would make such deep tunnels impossible. And yet, here they are."




Edit:
For the record, the text linked above was written by my good friend Thorf. Were were discussing the idea of an April Fool's Joke that was a little retort to the pretty poor taste joke WotC played on Mystara's expense back in 2012 which is linked in the article. Thorf suggested I post the text on my blog.




-Havard